Toxic relationships are unhealthy to say the least. You might know a few toxic people that successful in removing them from your life. When you’re in a relationship it can be more difficult to spot the toxic behaviour because you become so used to what’s happening that it no longer seems unusual. This article outlines 8 signs that your relationship has become toxic.
1. He belittles you
Does your boyfriend make your achievements out to be nothing out of the ordinary? Does he tell you that people do things like that every day? If he does, he is belittling your accomplishments and you. Your boyfriend should be proud of you and your achievements no matter how small they might seem. A boyfriend should only lift you up, not drag you down. Tell you that your opinions and beliefs are silly and unreasonable is also a form of belittling. Everyone is entitled to their own thoughts.
2. You walk on eggshells
Are you nervous when your boyfriend comes home? Do you find yourself running around to clean up before he spots anything out of order? If you do, you’re walking on eggshells to make sure that he doesn’t get upset. This is no way to live. In fact, the longer you do this the worse it will get because he will expect such perfection and nothing less. Eventually it will get to such a standard that you cannot keep up with no matter how you try.
3. He calls you names
When you make a mistake does your boyfriend call you stupid? Does he call you a name during fights or anytime he disagrees with something you do? If he does, this is a toxic relationship. Your boyfriend has no right to call you names no matter what you’ve done.
4. Your fights get physical
Do you and your boyfriend hit, slap or punch each other during arguments? This behaviour is toxic and should be stopped immediately. There is never any excuse for you to hit someone due to a disagreement or frustration. If you feel like you can’t control yourself, leave the home immediately and go for a walk. If your boyfriend touches you again in a non-loving way, call the police.
5. He accuses you of cheating
If your boyfriend truly believes that you are cheating, he can and should leave the relationship. That is what most people do. In a toxic relationship he will just make accusations that aren’t true, but somehow they make you feel guilty. The accusations of cheating could be an attempt to get you to feel like you’re not being attentive enough to him. If your boyfriend needs something from you, he needs to act like an adult and talk to you instead of accusing you of things he knows are not true.
6. You don’t stand up for yourself
Does your boyfriend treat you like dirt while you just sit there and take it? To allow anyone to treat you with disrespect is a sign your low self-esteem. If your boyfriend treats you horribly because you allow it, he is no better. Never allow someone to insult you or talk down to you. It’s important to find your voice and tell your boyfriend that he cannot speak to you the way he does.
7. You think his bad moods are your fault
This is an unhealthy way of thinking. Your boyfriend’s problems are not your responsibility. If he comes home in a bad mood and takes it out on you, that is unacceptable. If he makes you feel as though you need to make him happy, that is also unacceptable behaviour. It’s not your job to make sure he’s happy. Even if you know deep down that his bad mood isn’t your fault, but you still end up feeling guilty, this is a toxic dynamic.
8. He tries to control you
If your boyfriend thinks he has the right to tell you what you can and cannot do, he is controlling and that is toxic behaviour in any relationship. No one has the right to tell you what you can and cannot do or where you can or cannot go. The only boss of you is you. You one else can simply decide they can control you because you’re in a relationship.
Living in a toxic relationship is not fun and shouldn’t be tolerated. Toxic behaviours aren’t always easy to spot since it’s easy to become used to things when they happen all the time. If any of the above signs apply to you and your boyfriend, you are in a toxic relationship.
