Have you ever fallen in love with one of your friends? Or at least started to like them enough to consider dating them? If you have, then you’re not alone. Many people become confused when the line between friendship and romance blurs and are faced with choosing between remaining friends or starting to date. However, before making a decision, it is smart to consider the pros and cons of dating versus being friends.
Many people who start to date their friends actually end up having very strong romantic relationships with them. It makes sense when you think about it. You and your friend probably have similar interests and get along well already, so why wouldn’t you be compatible as more than just pals? Friends are usually loyal, supportive, and trustworthy and those are exactly the same qualities that most people look for in a romantic partner.
But then again, what if dating your friend ruined your friendship? Though some people find that dating a friend works for them, others find that it is exactly the opposite. They are just too close with their friend for it to work. It causes conflict and the romantic relationship just does not go as planned. In many of these instances, the friendship is gone after the relationship deteriorates.
For these reasons, it is important to strongly consider the positives and negatives between dating and remaining friends. Are you really ready to make a shot at love and romance and possibly lose a close friendship? Can you see yourself in a relationship with this person five years down the road? Are you only attracted to them physically or do you actually have romantic feelings for your friend? These are all questions that you should ask yourself before you make the jump and begin to date your friend.
If you are ready to make the jump into a relationship and risk your friendship, then that is okay. It is not necessarily a bad thing to do. Some people just have too strong of feelings to remain friends. If you feel like you can’t possibly be without this person, then it is probably in your best interest to talk to them about a romantic relationship. If you really can’t stand to lose the friendship, then it might be best to hold out. Either decision is fine. There is no right answer, but you need to make sure to take the time to think it all through and make a decision that feels right to you.
Next, you should consider exactly what sort of romantic relationship you plan on having with your friend. Are you just looking for a short-term fling or can you still see yourself with them in five years? If you are leaning more towards something brief or can’t imagine being with them far into the future, then it might be smart not to take things to the next level. You should probably just remain buddies. Then again, if your answer is yes and you can see yourself dating them in five years, then it might just be fine to go ahead with a romantic relationship. A friendship is a fragile thing and you only want to chance it if you are absolutely sure of your intentions and feelings.
Lastly, you need to ask yourself if you are only physically attracted to your friend or if you want to be romantically involved with them for some other reason as well. A lot of time friends end up hooking up because they just plain old have the hots for each other. It’s a purely physical thing. These sorts of relationships are usually short-lived and flare out before long. They can also be quite painful. It’s definitely okay to be physically attracted to the other person, it is probably even essential, but there should be another piece to the puzzle as well. You should also want to be in a relationship with them because you truly care about them and enjoy the time that you spend together.
There is still a long way to go even after you have weighed the pros and cons of dating versus being friends. If you have decided to become romantically involved with your friend, then you need to make sure that they feel the same way.
You should only go into a relationship with a friend if the both of you have the same expectations for it. You need to be absolutely honest with each other and share your feelings down to the last drop. If you want to be with your friend forever and they just want a quick romp, then it is probably wise to save yourself some heartache and just forget about dating. On the other hand, if your friend is also serious about the romance, then it is much safer for you to go ahead with the relationship.
Unfortunately, even when both friends decide that they want to be involved in a romantic relationship, things don’t always work out. Maybe they go well for a few months but then you realize that you’re just not compatible romantically. You were far better off as friends. This is the main part of the dilemma that you should have been considering before taking the plunge. In almost all cases, you can’t go back to how the friendship was before the romance. It just isn’t possible.
When weighing the pros and cons of dating versus being friends, make sure to give it a lot of thought. Don’t rush through the decision and consider every possibility. In the end, only you can decide what is right for you. Hopefully, it will be a good choice and you will be happy with your decision long into the future.
