You hear it all the time – women don’t like to be taken for granted. They want to be appreciated. And they mean it: relationships are frequently scuttled by females who refuse to be benignly ignored.
It’s not just saying “thank you” or noticing (and commenting on) a new hairstyle – although that certainly helps. Nor is it stocking up on Victoria’s Secret lingerie for Valentine’s Day gift-giving (again).
Here are 10 things you can do to keep your relationship (and your woman) hot:
Number 10 – Reach Out To Her
Contact her when she least expects it: leave a message that she’ll get when she checks into a hotel on an overnight business jaunt; send an encouraging SMS when you know she’s in a marathon meeting with impossible-to-please clients; stick a little note on the bathroom mirror when you leave before her.
Think once in a while, here – sporadic and unpredictable. If you get into a rut as to behavior or timing, you’ll stand to lose the ground you’ve gained.
Number 9 – ChitChat – Show You Are Interested In Her
When appropriate, chat for a second with her mom before handing over the phone to your better half. A pleasant “how’ve you been?” will please both ladies – and the same rule applies to your girlfriend’s girl friends. Don’t overdo it (keep it very short and simple), but a concerned “everything okay?” to a friend you know to be in difficulty, is sensitive and caring (and more points for you).
Number 8 – Silly Surprises – Show You Are Not Predictable
Nix your standing date with NFL occasionally and take her out for something schmaltzy, like a horse-drawn carriage ride in Central Park or a loaf of fresh sourdough while you stroll San Francisco’s Fisherman’s Wharf . It’s a bit hokey (like winning a big stuffed animal at the county fair), but women love it.
Number 7 – Tootsie – Touching Just To Touch Is Hot
Give her a foot rub and score big, guys. No need to pay out big bucks as she might at a spa – pick up some travel size lotions, oils or salves. Your tired girl’s toes will feel divinely forgiving. Just don’t be cheap with your time: long and slow are by-words to success here.
Number 6 – Forget Me Not – Flowers Work, Stupid
You haven’t forgotten to send her flowers once in a while, out of the blue, and for no reason at all, have you? (*groan*) Put in a standing staggered (every 3 weeks, then 4) order with an online florist for seasonal bouquets. You’ll need a rotating message (which you should personally compose, trying for something intimate each time—a nickname, a private phrase you use together). Or, if there is a local flower shop, stop by every now and then and pick up flowers. Any florist worth anything will help you out with flower selection and messages.
Number 5 – Sweet Nothings – Make ‘No Reason’ Special Dates
When you’re out – at lunch, on the way to the gym – pick up something little, something cute or personal that you think she’d like. Not lingerie, remember (that’s a gift to you). Get a book you think she might enjoy, or an interesting lithograph. Put it in a gift bag to make it nicer looking and more of an event. Even if you’re not on target with the item itself, the fact that you’re obviously thinking about her is extremely complimentary.
Number 4 – Play Games – It Leads To Even More Fun Games
Not head games, people. Try board games or card games or jigsaw puzzles. Too often our time together is spent with other people or mesmerized in tandem by a screen (TV, movie or computer) and there’s little one-on-one just-for-fun interaction. Doesn’t have to be games, of course – projects like restoring antique furniture or planning vacation together are great relationship revivers.
Number 3 – Laugh (A Lot) – Love Is About Being Happy
Everyone knows laughter’s a stress release. It’s also a long-term mood enhancer. People who laugh a lot tend to release potentially embarrassing or aggravating moments in the moment, and then forget about them, instead of nursing them to become part of larger issues later on. Misery may love company, but people like to laugh and will seek out those who make them feel good.
Number 2 – Listen – and Remember!
Girls not only need to talk, but they need to be listened to AND to give surprise listening comprehension tests. Men, put down your papers and switch off the tube: make eye contact and concentrate. It’s important to her and to your relationship. If you fumble during the quiz, you can still recoup with “Well, I was listening really hard, but I didn’t quite get that part.” Important postscript: refrain from yawning.
Number 1 – Say I Love You Loud and Clear (and Everyday … Or As Often As You Can)
“I love you.” Say it in the morning; on your way out the door; on the phone (even – especially – if other people can hear you). Offer it up – don’t wait for her to say it so your response is deemed automatic. And say it while you hug (at least three times a day). This relationship’s hot!
Want to keep you love life extra spicy, check out 500 Lovemaking Tips
