You’ve come to terms with your sexuality, but you are afraid that your family and your friends will reject you. It could be that your family and friends are religious and feel strongly about what they will refer to as your “decision” or “lifestyle”. It might be that the your friends and family will attach social stigmas to your revelation. Before you come out, there are some things to keep in mind that will make the process of coming out and being out easier for you, for your family, and for your friends.
Firstly, remember that you may have been acquainted with who you are for some time, but in some cases, your revelation might be brand new to your friends and family. It may take some time for your openness to be expected. Allow that time and offer your patience without anger or defense.
Next, no matter the social stigma or religious conviction, it is possible to maintain the support of family and friends after coming out if you remember a primary rule of relationships; friends are not the ones who understand you, but who you best understand. While reciprocation in relationship is nice, the reality is that no one will attend your funeral to remember all of the ways that they touched you. They will instead attend for all of the ways that you touched them. When you make the friendship about them rather than about you, people tend to more easily “forgive” that about which you that may not fit within their relational paradigm.
Thirdly, no matter the response, keep your cool. You need never apologize for being yourself, but you also need never fight for that right. People will love you or hate you of their own volition, but one thing is for certain, unless you are truly your authentic self, you will never be loved for who you truly are. No matter the response of those you love, you are valuable, and you don’t need anyone else’s validation to prove it. May you and your loved ones find peace and greater love, the result of you understanding yourself better, and loving them more completely.
