Deciding to marry someone is a big step in your life. It’s not something you want to take lightly. When you notice things that cause you to worry or make you feel bad, these are warning signs. This article outlines 6 signs that it’s not the best idea to marry your boyfriend.
Reason One: He can’t hold down a job
A man who can’t, or won’t, hold down a job is definitely something to worry about. First, you have to look at why he can’t hold down a job. Is he constantly being fired or is quitting when something doesn’t go his way? Neither is a good reason, but knowing is probably helpful. If it takes your boyfriend weeks to begin looking for a new job after he loses one, this is also not a good sign. He might be lacking the ambition he needs to find a job. Eventually he may go months without looking for a job. You don’t want to have to nag him constantly about finding a new job whenever he loses one. The fact that he seems to not want to work to begin with is troubling in itself.
Reason Two: He does not support his children
If your boyfriend has children from a previous relationship that he doesn’t support, this is a big warning sign. You have to think about when the two of you have children and if you break up. You want to be hopeful and think he’ll support yours, but his behavior now doesn’t suggest that he will. It’s important to look at current behavior to predict what could happen in the future. Also think about what will happen if the mother of his children comes after him for child support in the future. Being married to him may mean that your money will be helping to pay his child support.
Reason Three: He holds you (but not himself) to impossible standards
Does your boyfriend expect you to be wonder woman while sit lounges on the couch and flips through the TV channels? This is just a preview of what your life with him will be like once you are married. If your boyfriend expects you to hold down a full-time job, come home and cook, clean, entertain him, pick up after him, and generally be at his beck and call, don’t expect things to improve after marriage. If anything, the situation will become more intolerable. A man like this doesn’t understand why you can’t fit everything he thinks you should do into your day.
Reason Four: He calls you ugly names when he’s upset with you
It’s never okay for your boyfriend to call you names, but if he’s started called you nasty names every time he’s unhappy, this is a form of abuse. You don’t deserve to be called names by anyone in your life. You might be so shocked when it happens that you do nothing about it, but ignoring the situation does not help. Ignoring it only tells your boyfriend that it’s something that you’ll put up with. Any man who will call you names, doesn’t deserve to marry you.
Reason Five: He wants control of your money
While it’s a good idea for couples to discuss money, it’s not okay for one person in the relationship to control the other person’s money. If your boyfriend suggests getting a joint account and pooling all of your money, don’t do it. If your boyfriend wants you to account for where you spend all of your money to him, don’t do it. You don’t owe anyone else an accounting of where your money goes. It is a good idea to be open about any debts you may have though because once married, they become your problem, too. It’s important that you control your own money these days, even when you are married because 50% of marriages end in divorce and the sad fact is that you need to protect yourself. You don’t want to be left with nothing or no way to support yourself.
Reason Six: He is not eager to meet your family
If your boyfriend isn’t interested in meeting or spending time with your family, this could be a warning sign of things to come. Getting married won’t suddenly make him more interested in your family. Do you want to choose between going to a family event or staying behind with your husband? That is probably what will end up happening if you marry a man who has no interest in being around your family. You might become even more resentful if he expects you to spend your time with his family, but won’t spend time with yours. A worse case scenario is that your boyfriend avoids both families. This can lead to isolation, which is bad for both of you.
Marrying someone is a life changing decision. You want to make the best choice possible, but sometimes when you love someone it’s easy to ignore their negative points. Look for the warning signs before you take the big step.
