Plot
The tale of Conan the Cimmerian and his adventures across the continent of Hyboria on a quest to avenge the murder of his father and the slaughter of his village.
Release Year: 2011
Rating: 5.2/10 (34,484 voted)
Critic's Score: 36/100
Director:
Marcus Nispel
Stars: Jason Momoa, Ron Perlman, Rose McGowan
Storyline A quest that begins as a personal vendetta for the fierce Cimmerian warrior soon turns into an epic battle against hulking rivals, horrific monsters, and impossible odds, as Conan realizes he is the only hope of saving the great nations of Hyboria from an encroaching reign of supernatural evil.
Writers: Thomas Dean Donnelly, Joshua Oppenheimer
Cast: Jason Momoa
-
Conan
Stephen Lang
-
Khalar Zym
Rachel Nichols
-
Tamara
Ron Perlman
-
Corin
Rose McGowan
-
Marique
Bob Sapp
-
Ukafa
Leo Howard
-
Young Conan
Steven O'Donnell
-
Lucius
Nonso Anozie
-
Artus
Raad Rawi
-
Fassir
Laila Rouass
-
Fialla
Saïd Taghmaoui
-
Ela-Shan
Milton Welsh
-
Remo
Borislav Iliev
-
Wild Man
Nathan Jones
-
Akhun
Opening Weekend: $10,021,215
(USA)
(21 August 2011)
(3015 Screens)
Gross: $21,270,904
(USA)
(2 October 2011)
Technical Specs
Runtime:
Did You Know?
Trivia: Dolph Lundgren, then Mickey Rourke were in talks to play Corin, Conan's father, but Rourke turned it down to do
Immortals before Ron Perlman was cast.
Goofs:
Plot holes:
With no apparent way of knowing where Conan's ship has laid anchor, and with no way of knowing that Tamara would be on land with Conan and not still aboard the ship, Zim's soldiers nevertheless are able to set up a perfect ambush to try and capture Tamara after she leaves Conan's chamber and wanders through the forest.
Quotes: Conan:
You have a name? Tamara:
Tamara Amalia Jorvi-Karashan. And yours? Conan:
Conan. Tamara:
[pause]
Conan... that's it? Conan:
How many names do I need?
User Review
The Terrible Wrath of Darkest Gods
Rating: 2/10
Director Marcus Nispel is undoubtedly the long-lost offspring of trash
master and fellow German, Uwe Boll, as this film is so profoundly awful
on every level that it's hard to think that it wasn't intentionally
made this way.
Remarkably, the movie gets bad immediately and stays that way. One of
its most jarring aspects is that it begins with Morgan Freeman's
narration, which sounds so utterly out of place, with his comforting,
slightly Southern drawl the total opposite of everything bloody and
Cimmerian, that it instantly comes across like self-parody, as if we
were seeing some schticky Mel Brooks interpretation after the fact.
This ham-handed disregard for appropriate tone haunts every frame of
the film.
The story fails to find the real Conan -- who in Robert E. Howard's
stories is a smart, tough, brutal survivor -- and instead seems to
reveal to us the underwhelming idea that Conan's just another hunky
sword dude with a knack for slaughter.
The script inconsistently sticks to any epic poetic flair in the
dialog, so that when such words are delivered, they feel forced and
flat. The noted line "I live, I love, I slay, and I am content," is
meted out with such lack of panache or feeling that I wanted to wash
out Jason Momoa's mouth with soap, right after forcing him to watch
Schwarzenegger -- not a great actor, by any means -- deliver the
unforgettable tagline: "To crush your enemies, drive them before you,
and to hear the lamentation of their women." But then again, John
Milius bothered to direct his actors.
Stephen Lang (Colonel Quaritch of "Avatar") is the half-assed villain
Khalar Zym, who inspires zero awe and no respect on his whatever quest
for some supernatural thingy, which is such an afterthought that you
constantly forget about it. And post plastic-surgery Rose McGowan as
his witchy daughter Marique is so outrageously goth that you half-wish
for a Sisters of Mercy musical cue every time she steps on camera; if
only her performance received the same attention as her over-the-top
costumes. Ron Perlman, as Conan's father, is simply wasted. Weep!
I'm totally sick of the short-attention-span style of storytelling. The
filmmakers are so afraid that if some big action sequence doesn't occur
every ten minutes, that we'll be bored; and of course, this quickly has
the opposite effect, as we instead become bored from so much pointless,
poorly shot and edited action unsupported by character or story. Video
games often have more character development than this film, and yes,
I'm specifically thinking of the comparatively Shakespearean struggles
portrayed in Donkey Kong.
I bestowed two stars on this flick, as the second is for unintentional
hilarity, of which the film has much. Its hyperbolic Hyborian
cartoonishness makes you either wince or chuckle derisively. Hopefully,
as many heads as roll on screen will also roll in Hollywood for this
abortive, dreadful garbage.
Perhaps the noble Conan will someday get his proper due in a modern
film. But not today.
Plot
The epic tale of child sold into slavery who grows into a man who seeks revenge against the warlord who massacred his tribe.
Release Year: 1982
Rating: 6.8/10 (57,232 voted)
Critic's Score: 43/100
Director:
John Milius
Stars: Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Earl Jones, Max von Sydow
Storyline A barbarian trained in the arts of war joins with thieves in a quest to solve the riddle of steel and find the sorcerer responsible for the genocide of his people in this faithful adaptation of Robert E. Howard's sword and sorcery adventures. This film briefly sparked a wave of fantasy films including the sequel, Conan the Destroyer, in the early 80s.
Writers: Robert E. Howard, John Milius
Cast: Arnold Schwarzenegger
-
Conan
James Earl Jones
-
Thulsa Doom
Max von Sydow
-
King Osric
Sandahl Bergman
-
Valeria
Ben Davidson
-
Rexor
Cassandra Gava
-
The Witch
(as Cassandra Gaviola)
Gerry Lopez
-
Subotai
Mako
-
The Wizard
/
Narrator
Valérie Quennessen
-
The Princess
William Smith
-
Conan's Father
Luis Barboo
-
Red Hair
Franco Columbu
-
Pictish Scout
Leslie Foldvary
-
Sacrificial Snake Girl
Gary Herman
-
Osric's Guard
Erik Holmey
-
Turanian War Officer
(as Erick Holmey)
Taglines:
He conquered an empire with his sword. She conquered HIM with her bare hands.
Release Date: 14 May 1982
Filming Locations: Almería, Andalucía, Spain
Box Office Details
Budget: $20,000,000
(estimated)
Opening Weekend: $9,603,139
(USA)
(14 May 1982)
(1 Screen)
Gross: $68,851,475
(Worldwide)
(1982)
Technical Specs
Runtime:
Did You Know?
Trivia:
The dynamic score by Basil Poledouris has been frequently used by other filmmakers as temp tracks in other films. It has also been frequently used in advance trailers and TV spots for other films.
Goofs:
Crew or equipment visible:
When Conan emerges from the crypt and cuts his leg irons, a hand can be seen reaching up to snatch the chain out of the way. (No hand can be seen on the R2 DVD special edition.)
Quotes:
[first lines]
Title Card:
That which does not kill us makes us stronger - Friedrich Nietzsche
User Review
Not to be overlooked
Rating: 10/10
People have preconceptions of what makes a good move and more often
than not they get tangled up in their own web of closed mindedness. It
is no one thing that makes a movie great but a combination of all to
create a feeling, and that is one thing that Conan has always done for
me.
This was the first film that introduced me to "the goosebump effect" or
rather seeing scenes of such emotional and thematic power that they
give you chills. After watching this film over and over again it still
doesn't disappoint. The scene immediately following the raid on Conan's
village is a true masterpiece of visual storytelling. without a single
line of dialogue everything that is to come in the next two hours is
set up with the Murder of Conan's parents before his eyes. The look of
disbelief on his face as his mother's lifeless body falls before him.
Staring at his hand and then toward Thulsa Doom. the Villain saluting
his freshly stolen steel. It is a perfectly executed scene that were
this film not so unjustly written off as a hack and slash "sword and
sorcery" picture would be rightfully remembered as one of the great
scenes in film history.
The best way to describe Conan would be to call it a philosophical
epic. There are real ideas and philosophies at play in the narrative.
Conan's father's teachings of steel...the opening scene forging the
sword becoming a metaphor for Conan's life. He is a character created
by hardship and grief, and like the opening quote says "That which does
not kill us makes us stronger" Conan becomes more powerful with the
more hardships he overcomes. The film is very well put together. Many
scenes and images from the movie are as visually layered and well
thought out as any Ridley Scott picture. The prelude to the opening
battle in the snow is stunning with great visual flair, a single scout
stands atop a boulder breathing heavy, anticipating battle as vibrant
rays of sunlight pour through the trees.
There is a ritualistic quality to many of the scenes in the film such
as the finding of the atlantean sword, or the lead up to Conan's duel
with the snake which is carried through right to the end where after
Conan drops his sword the followers of doom extinguish their flames in
the fountain. Everyone in the film manages to give a good performance
but the big mistake that most people make in judging them is that they
do not understand that acting is not simply saying lines of dialogue,
it is behavior. Arnold Schwarzenegger and the rest of the cast give
outstanding performances without saying all that much. The scene at the
funeral pyre where Conan runs his hand through the hair of his fallen
love...the subtle look of grief withheld combined with the eloquent
score is enough to get the idea across, no dialogue is needed. Basil
Poledouris' score for the film has to be one of, if not, the greatest
score ever composed and it plays an integral part in creating the rich
emotional landscape of John Milius' epic film. Conan the barbarian is a
film I saw when I was very young, and through the years as I have
gotten a little older and wiser the film has gotten richer and more
rewarding with each subsequent viewing.
This is a film of great resonance and subtlety. Most audiences today
cannot appreciate a film that requires a bit of deep thinking, but this
is one of the rare films that is even more rewarding if you look
beneath the surface.
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